Wednesday, March 28, 2012


After 13 months, Eden now says, “Mama”!!! so beautiful to my ears!!

I can’t even express how sweet it is when she walks (tumbles) towards me with her hands up and lays her head on my knees and says (in the sweetest voice you can ever imagine) “mama”! I have been waiting for this day forever!

Chris has been able to experience this pleasure for the bulk of the last 10 months. It was the same with Noah.

Despite the fact that I felt, as the one who carried them for 9 months, fed them for the first year, and spent every waking and sleeping moment with them, I was entitled to be the first word. not so..

I must admit, I had been quite envious of Chris’s place in our children’s vocabulary.

Until this one day. :) I thought I'd share the story...

Eden’s first sign (an open hand to the forehead) at around 4-5 months was “Dada”! her first word (despite my constant teaching of how to say and sign mama) was “Dada.”

When she hears his voice on the phone, sees a picture of him, watches him walk through the door, falls down, gets hurt, and many times just spontaneously as she looks around the room she would pop her hand to her forehead and squeal, “Dada”!

It was one of these days a couple of months ago when I was buckling Eden in her car seat, (after what I felt like had been a day where I kind of deserved to hear some kind of thanks or at minimum, my name), she gazed up, signed, and shouted, “Dada”

I immediately said, “Precious sweetheart, Dada is at work. Can you say “Mama”?

She immediately answered with a smile, “Dada!”

As I was getting in the front seat, Noah said, “Mama, do you think Eden says Dada all the time because she can see the face of her real Dada in heaven?”

See that you do not look down on these little ones, for their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven! Matthew 18:10

Maybe every time she sees Chris and hears his voice she is reminded of the voice of the One who spoke her in to existence. Maybe the light of the sun reminds her of the light of the face of her Father who watched her and cared for her in my tummy.

Maybe his hands remind her of the hands of the One who knit her together and holds her even now.

Maybe all of these everyday wonders should remind me of the same and force me to sing out moment by moment for my real “Dada” like Eden does. J

Maybe every time I feel love it should remind me of the real perfect love of my real perfect Dada.

And every time I feel pain I should be reminded that Jesus took the worst pain, the punishment due our sins on the cross when God the Father turned His face away from His little boy, so He would never have to turn His face away from me.

Maybe no matter how big I get or how independent I feel, my heart was hard wired for “Dada,” to always run to God with my arms up, in complete realization of my total dependence, not needing anything else.

And as I cry to HIM, no matter what my day looks like, my joy and peace, my beauty and my praise will be firmed and secured in the arms of the One who is always present and will never ever be shaken- “Dada.”

Maybe these are the words for which we were made.

For by the Spirit we cry out, “Abba, Daddy, Father.” Romans 8:15

Friday, January 20, 2012

You're my boy!

Noah loves a routine. He thrives in consistency and feels safe in our little rituals we have at home. One of our many rituals is our bedtime routine.

Each evening after dinner Chris brushes “the sugarbugs” off of Noah’s teeth and then wrestles with him on the bed. After we sing, we tuck Noah in and pray for him. But before Chris leaves his room each night, he wraps him in his arms and says, “You’re my boy, and I love you so much. ” only after hearing those words can Noah sleep.

No matter what kind of day we have had at home, Noah must know before he can rest that despite all the good and all the bad we love him just because he is our son and that will never change.

Sound familiar? I know its not just Noah who needs to be assured of the unchanging status and love of his father.

I know my heart cries for the same thing, and I am insecure and searching until I can hear it from the only One who matters, “You’re my daughter. I’m pleased with you. I love you.”

Our hearts were made to hear from the most important One in our universe the very words that brought the world into existence, “you are very good!”

but since the fall we are constantly unsure and wondering, looking everywhere but to the Father to hear those words. So God sent Jesus to prove to our hearts the security of our status, the depth of His love.

Now we are covered in the only One who deserves to hear those words, the Word made flesh and dwelt among us!

Yay! my status is secure! my standing is confirmed! under the blood of the Lamb of God ! my sin has been taken away my guilt atoned for! I'm a child and I am loved!

because of Jesus over me no matter what kind of day I have had, I can always hear the words I was made to hear, “You’re my Son whom I love, with you I am well pleased!”

now I can rest.