Wednesday, October 12, 2011

I love you my precious.

“I love you, sweetheart, so very much.” I say this a lot, but it still hasn’t’ sunk in.

Granted I am inconsistent and I don’t show them as well as I’d like. But they have no idea and could never understand how much I love them.

I spend my whole day strategically planning our schedule and activities in order (to the best of my abilities) help them to learn and grow. I love LOVE surprising them with treats or things I think they would enjoy! I think I enjoy giving to them more than they enjoy receiving.

I dread the times when I have to deny their requests or remove something that might seem enjoyable but could prove fatal. It really does hurt me more than it hurts them. They don't understand everything I do really is for their good.

Despite all of this, there is an underlying innate distrust that doubts that we are really going to provide for them.

It’s as if because mom won’t let us play in the street and eat m&ms 3 meals a day, she can’t be trusted. Even with Eden, “if mom won’t let me play with the electrical cord, she must not be good."

In the moment that Noah turns away from me, he is saying, “Because you are not giving me what I want, you must not love me. You must not care. If I want something good I’m going to have to get it myself.”

Crazy isn’t it? Or, maybe not?

But Noah has very imperfect parents. He sees their inconsistencies. They don’t love him perfectly. Point valid.

But I know a Father who is perfect, who does love His children perfectly who gives them every good and perfect gift (James 1:16)

who strategically plans and filters every moment of His children’s day to grow them into the little ones they were made to be (genesis 50:20)

who has lavished upon them more love and joy than could even be expressed (1 peter 1:8)

And who has proven the depth of His love by sending Jesus to die an awful death in our place (Romans 5:8).

And I know a daughter who is still anxious. When she worries it reveals a heart of underlying distrust that doubts that God really will provide, that He really can be trusted, That He loves me perfectly and infinitely! And that He is going to take care of me, in ways I wouldn’t have ever been able to anticipate

Hmmm. So maybe I’m not teaching my kids after all. they are teaching me.

Apart from You there is no good thing. Psalm 16:2

“What must we do to be doing the works of God?” Jesus answered, “This is the work of God, that you believe.” John 6:28

Believe that I love you sweetheart, and I have conquered the only thing that could ever conquer you and have secured and displayed my love for you on the cross forever.

He who did not spare His own Son, but freely gave Him up for us all. How shall He not with Him graciously give us all things. Romans 8:32

Monday, August 15, 2011

we "built" a door

We decided to put up a glass door today. mainly because I could watch the sunshine around the door, the air conditioner go out and the bugs come in.

Chris told Noah that he could help, and Noah was stoked! J

“Noah’s going to build a big door, Noah’s going to help lift this heavy door and Noah’s going to help dad build with his hammer and Noah’s going to bang real hard and climb this ladder and the door is going to be SO BIG and Noah is going to use the toolbox and look out and see the tomatoes and the birds.”

Noah assisted in removing the screws from the packaging and placing them strategically in the grass, climbing up and down the ladder in between dad’s legs, dragging around the toolbox and walking across the glass door, banging the hammer. All the while saying “Noah is a very good helper to dad” J Nothing was safe in the hands of our little helper. The one hour project turned into a six hour project, but Noah got to hang out with dad.

What a pretty picture of my Christian life. Me, running around pretending to be very busy doing very ‘important’ things. Getting upset when the hammer or drill gun get taken away from me, because I really think I need these things to “help” God, not understanding that God is actually protecting me from myself (and a lot of other people) and that my purpose is not to “help” God (He can build the door all by Himself, a lot more quickly and more efficiently without me) No my purpose is not to help but to hang: to hang out with Him, to watch Him work, to enjoy what He enjoys, to see Him, to know Him, to become like Him.

Noah has no real grasp of what daddy is doing, he has no visual of what the finished product will be, but I have a glimpse. God is building something magnificent, so much more than a bug stopper, something eternal! of more weight and glory than we could ever imagine!

So when I get frustrated that God is taking away my toys, or that I have failed from being the best little "helper," I don't have to worry... God doesn't need me to put up the door; He never has.
because it's not about the door. it's about Dad J

Whatever was to my gain, I count as loss for the sake of Christ! I count everything a loss compared to the surpassing glory of knowing Christ! I consider everything else rubbish that I may gain Christ! and be found in Him! Phil 3:7,8

and this is eternal life: that you may know God! John 17:3

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

summer loves... :)

playing in the grass :)

swimming with dad :)


fishing on the trail...

playing at the beach

surfing with dad !


church picnics !

watermelon and hamburgers (a little blurry, but you get the picture) :)

pool parties! with chocolate cake :)

sundresses !

swings !

live flounder :)

tanning :)

getting ready for football season!

singing and celebrating our wonderful Daddy :)

I am He who has carried you from the womb, before you were born, even to your old age, I will carry you. I have made, and I will bear you. I will carry, and I will save. I have engraved you on the palm of my hand. You are mine. Isaiah 46:3

Sunday, June 12, 2011

so so good!!

chris and i were looking at old pics and videos last night... always makes me cry... :)
God has been so so good to us!
its amazing how quickly I forget ...
It's no wonder God tells us over and over throughout scripture to "remember, remember, remember"
because if we don't intentionally remember, we will always drift toward forgetfulness..
and when i forget, I'm not as joyful and God glorifying as I would be if I only remembered His unbelievable grace and mercy over and over and over again ...

how can i be so excited about a 2 year old with yogurt all over his shirt :) ...

unless i remember how many cleft babies die of starvation

and it is only the grace of God that sustained our sweet little 2 month old through each little ounce ...

how can i truly appreciate precious times at home with sweet Eden baby ...

unless I remember long nights in the hospital with my precious Noah bug..

and in sun or in rain it is the Eternal God who is our only dwelling place and we are wrapped in His everlasting arms! deut 33:27

remember what the Lord your God has done for you, the great trials that your eyes have seen, the signs, the wonders, the mighty hand, the outstretched arm by which the Lord has carried you! (Deuteronomy 7:18)

how happy are you Oh favored ones! a people who is saved by the Lord! deut 33:29

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

My brave bug catcher

noah finds a bug :)

noah stealthily sneaking up on his new found friend :)

using his magnifying glass to determine genus and species...

he determined that it was a Periplaneta americana, which was approximately about 30 millimetres (1.2 in) long

aka Palmetto Bug

aka big fat disgusting cockroach... gross!!

but its okay we sprayed carrot particles all over him, he didn't know what was coming....

heres the video :)

Monday, May 23, 2011

have you ever thanked God for your two front teeth?

have you ever thought about all of the things that we are able to say and do because we have two front teeth? i hadn't.

i walk around all day everyday taking for granted the ability to make the "th" or the "s" sound.
the ability to bite into a big crunchy pink lady apple or a sweet delicious buttery corn on the cob. the ability to smile without my lip getting caught on my canines :) or people looking at me funny...

what is completely horrible is that i have come to expect all these wonderful gifts as normal...
but last week God gave me a great opportunity to thank him for a lot of the things I have been taking for granted.... I will list a few ... :)

-- the ability to eat food and have it properly digested by my GI system
-- the strength and mental capacity to care for my children without fainting or passing out
-- my children's ability to sleep through the night without being plagued by sickness and poison ivy covering their body (yes even on the private parts :)

-- my brain's ability to calculate depth perception between my teeth and an approaching object...
-- having milk in the house both to drink and to soak my broken teeth (who knew?)

having an amazing dentist right here in my own home!
who takes such good care of us... in sickness and in health :)

so wonderful...

so talented and patient... in and out of the office :)

i have the greatest dentist and husband in the whole wide world :)

I have come to appreciate him and so many other pleasures after last week :)
God has been so so good to me!

In His presence there is fullness of joy! At His right hand is pleasures forever and ever! psalm 16:11